How to Identify and Conquer your Gray Zone Habits

And Stop Sabotaging Your Success

What’s a Gray Zone?

A Gray Zone habit is something that doesn’t wreck your life, instead it slyly and quietly runs in the background. It’s a behavior you use to cope—mine was wine. For others it can be social media, online shopping, scrolling—without the obvious markers of addiction. You function. You perform. You lead. You excel. But you also know, deep down, something is out of alignment.

Gray Zone behaviors are subtle enough to be socially acceptable but pervasive enough to keep you stuck. I didn’t need rehab, but I wasn’t not thriving either. I was merely surviving. Maybe you are too? And in your multidimensional business and life, surviving is not the goal. Thriving is.

My Gray Zone Story

It was the longest day of my entire surgical technology career. Two brain surgeries scheduled at the same time, both requiring the system I was solely trained to operate. Three complex spine cases using the same sophisticated equipment. All day I was sprinting between rooms, systems malfunctioning, no food, no water, no help. By midnight, 17 hours in, I was exhausted and frazzled.

And here’s the twist: the only thing that had been keeping me going that very rough day was the promise of a glass—or three—of expensive wine when it was all over. But I never got that wine-my “reward”.

That night became Day 1 of my alcohol-free life. Not because I planned it.

Because I had no choice. I made it through the worst day of my career... without the reward I thought I needed. That day exposed the truth: I was depending on wine not to escape, but to “manage” my life. That’s what I mean by a Gray Zone.

Your Habit Isn’t the Problem. It’s a Symptom.

In my coaching practice, I see this all the time—especially with high-performing women. It’s not just wine. It’s nighttime scrolling, emotional eating, impulse spending. These behaviors aren’t the root issue. They’re signs something deeper is misaligned.

The brain wants to feel safe. When we’re exhausted, overwhelmed, or disconnected from our purpose, it seeks relief. Gray Zone habits offer quick dopamine without real fulfillment. They’re comforting—but they’re not transforming.

Rewiring the Brain: The Science of Transformation

Your brain is capable of change—at any age. Neuroplasticity means that with consistent, intentional action, we can rewire thought patterns and build new default responses.

We start by understanding what parts of the brain are being activated, and then we use tools—like reframing thoughts, habit stacking, prayer practice, and mindset strategies—to redirect the brain’s response to stress and uncertainty.

Reframe. Retrain. Rewire.

One belief I had to rewire was: “Uncertainty is dangerous.” It kept me clinging to control and the “reward” of wine. I reframed it to: “Life is full of beautiful possibilities I can walk into.”

Daily repetition, curated prayers, writing, speaking it out loud, asking friends to remind me—it all rewired my brain. Now, uncertainty feels expansive, not threatening. That’s the power of mind-led neural sculpting.

Thriving in Your Multidimensional Business

If you’re building a multidimensional business, you cannot afford to carry habits that subtly drain your energy, clarity, and confidence.

Start by asking: What’s my Gray Zone? What do I reach for when I feel overwhelmed? What’s the real need underneath it?

Your next level of growth won’t come from grinding harder—it will come from thoughtfully examining what thought patterns are running in the background of your mind. With that understanding comes the ability to build a life that serves you at every level: body, brain, and spirit.

You’re designed to excel-not just in business but in every facet of our life. Let’s embrace that and build from there. I believe in you.