How Servant Leaders Can Overcome Extraction Fatigue™

When Giving Becomes Draining

Hey World Changers,

I call leaders like us World Changers because we carry both vision and responsibility. We see possibilities that others miss. We move through life with a deep sense of purpose, often in service to others—our teams, our families, our communities.

But I want to ask you something.

Do you feel like a World Changer right now? Are you leading from fullness or from habit? Are you energized by your mission, or just getting through the day?

And what about the term Servant Leader? Does that resonate too? Not the jargon-laced version you might see in corporate training, but the one that lives in how you show up—collaborative, purposeful, supportive, and committed to lifting others.

If any of that sounds like you, you may also be carrying something you didn’t name until now.

Jen’s Story: A Real-Life Picture of Extraction Fatigue™

When Jen came to work with me, she had been out of the workforce for a while. The pandemic hit her hard. She was a widowed mother of special-needs children, focused on healing and holding her family together.

She had just started looking for jobs again, but her confidence was shaky. The career gaps and the emotional weight of caregiving left her doubting whether she still belonged in her industry.

“I was having an identity crisis coupled with imposter syndrome,” she told me. “I didn’t know if I had anything left to give.”

She didn’t just need resume help. She needed to find herself again. The version of herself that she’d buried, the version of herself that was full and not depleted.

Jen was experiencing something I’ve come to call Extraction Fatigue™

It’s a chronic energy deficit that arises when high-achievers give more than they receive over time. When your identity centers on being available, capable, and indispensable to others - but not to yourself - Extraction Fatigue™ takes hold.

My doctoral research, and nearly two decades of work has focused on understanding and disrupting this pattern, which disproportionately affects women who lead through service within patriarchal and colonial systems.

If you’ve been taught your worth depends on how much you sacrifice or how well you perform under pressure, you’ve already encountered its roots.

Signs You May Be Experiencing Extraction Fatigue™:

• You’re seen as the strong one, but feel unseen yourself

• You constantly perform success while feeling quietly unfulfilled

• You pour into others but struggle to replenish your own well

• You push through exhaustion because it feels easier than stopping

The good news is that it is a patterned response. And patterns can be disrupted, with the right systems, tools and habits.

A New Way Forward: The Momentology Method™

I’ve helped women like Jen reclaim their voice, vision, and sense of victory through the Momentology Method™ framework, guiding them from depletion to intentional, joyful leadership in their current role or the next chapter of their career or business.

This approach empowers you to lead with alignment, so your energy is no longer constantly being drained. The method is built on three pillars: Awareness, Gratitude, and Expectancy. Here’s how to apply each one.

1. Awareness: Find the Leak

Before you can refill your tank, you have to know where the drain is.

Ask yourself:

• What parts of my life feel heavy or obligatory?

• Where am I giving without receiving?

• What responsibilities no longer reflect who I am?

Try this:

Track your energy for three days. Write down which activities leave you depleted, which energize you, and which are neutral. You’ll start to see where your energy is bleeding out—and what you can begin to shift. Be honest. You can’t align with false hopes.

2. Gratitude: Reconnect to Meaning

Gratitude is more than a list of nice things. It’s about honoring what still feels alive, even when things feel heavy.

Ask:

• What brings me peace, even in small moments?

• What do I want to experience more of?

• What part of me have I been neglecting?

Try this:

Each night, identify one moment of alignment from your day. Maybe it’s a deep breath, a conversation, or the fact that you honored a boundary. These micro-moments retrain your brain to recognize what is already working. I watch my kids fighting over who’s going to do the dishes and laugh at their antics as I remind myself that we have a house, running water, and family around us.

3. Expectancy: Step Into Possibility

Expectancy is choosing to believe that more is possible. It’s allowing space for your dreams, even before you know how to reach them.

Ask:

• What have I stopped hoping for because I was too tired to imagine it?

• What would I love to experience six months from now?

• What does it look like to say yes to myself?

Try this:

Write down one small desire you’ve been putting off. Schedule it into your week. Maybe it’s reconnecting with a passion project, setting a meeting with a mentor, or blocking 30 minutes for yourself. Do something. Do one thing that brings you closer. Acting on it is a signal to yourself: “I matter too.”

From Extraction to Expansion

This process doesn’t require perfection. Just presence.

Leaders who apply the Momentology Method™ report more clarity, stronger boundaries, greater confidence, and a reconnection with joy.

They stop apologizing for needing time.

They stop asking permission to dream.

They stop settling for survival.

And they begin designing a life that is momentous by intention, not just by default.

Your Next Step

If you’ve seen parts of yourself reflected here, I want to invite you to explore your own leadership style more deeply.

The Servant Leadership Style Finder™ is a free self-assessment to help you identify your dominant leadership gifts and how they may be connected to cycles of Extraction Fatigue™. You can learn more on www.momentouslifenow.com.

You’ll walk away with a better understanding of how to lead from alignment and what your next right step might look like.

You’ve poured into everyone else long enough. It’s your moment now.